Discovering BDSM
Want to explore BDSM, but don't know where to start?
In this blog, I will tell you where it all started for me.
I was not yet six when I played with my Barbie dolls on the living room floor while the television was on. A music programme was running that I hardly paid attention to, until one performance suddenly got me quiet.
Meat Loaf
On the screen was a beautiful dark-haired, slim woman standing next to a tall, sweaty, full-figured man. I didn't know who they were. I didn't understand anything about sexuality, desire or dynamics. But I immediately sensed that there was something different between the two. Something more intense than ordinary romance. Not soft kissing film tension, but something more charged. Like it was about power, surrender, leading and following.
Years later, I discovered it was Meat Loaf with Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
After seeing that music video, I played the story over and over again with my Barbies. The thrill of asymmetry apparently fascinated me early on.
Ken and Barbie took on increasingly extreme roles. Sometimes Ken hit Barbie. Sometimes her head flew off during my theatrical drama sessions, but afterwards they always made up and lay in bed together, under my mother's flannel dusters that served as blankets.
Discovering BDSM
It was only much later that the penny dropped for me.
There, at that moment, in the living room, my fascination with BDSM and D/s began. Not just sexually, but mostly emotionally and psychologically. The tension between control and surrender felt strangely familiar, long before I had words for what I was actually feeling.
Vel experienced BDSM-ers know that BDSM is often at least as psychological as it is physical. A Dom who does not understand his sub on an emotional and mental level often misses an important part of the dynamic.
Sometimes I see it in the fetish shop Where I work. Someone puts on a leather shirt, picks up a whip and automatically thinks this makes them a ‘Dom’.
But, of course, that's not how it works.
Intellect, empathy, backbone, self-knowledge and emotional intelligence come first.
Interestingly, within the BDSM community, you come across relatively many people who are consciously concerned with psychology, communication and self-development.
BDSM Blog
In my blog, I’ll tell you all about my personal views on BDSM and what it means to me.
After all, not all Dom’s are the same, and the same goes for subs.
There are already plenty of informative BDSM websites.
This is my personal view.
Perhaps yours too?
Do you enjoy reading my work and would you like to support me?
Thank you for inspiring me to keep creating.
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